A few weeks back at Kids Can! Summer Day Camp, I helped some kids learn how to make candles. Hot wax + no air conditioning + active little kids = as much excitement as you’d expect. (The kids did a great job, and their business, Downtown Candle Co., made a great product.)
On one of our first days of business, I took the kids to a craft store to buy candle supplies. This involved the necessary “research” of smelling every scent of candle to the point of possibly permanent wax buildup on their noses. Also, a lot of touching everything on every shelf. But, on with the story.
A five-year-old boy I’ll call Donny, a sweet, funny, and dare I say Extremely Active little guy, was part of my candle-shopping group. Donny was one of our kids from Interfaith Hospitality Network, whose family had hit hard times and was homeless. As I called Donny’s name – often – to rein him in from destroying anything valuable in the store, he caught my director’s heart off guard when, at one point, he reached his five-year-old hand up and put it in mine.
Reaching for a hand. It was a very simple, unexpected gesture. I do it with my three-year-old daughter often, but rarely with kids from the ministry. It said to me that Donny was hungry for attention and affection, even when he was being reined in and under a little scrutiny.
It struck me that Donny and every kid will outgrow the desire to have their hand held – but that they won’t outgrow the need to have their hand held. Not literally, of course – they quickly become too big, too cool, and too independent for that. But holding a hand symbolizes a lot of things – things that kids both younger and older still need, and that the staff at SCYM, both paid and volunteer, are there to give.
Guidance. That hand they hold helps keep a kid from going down the wrong aisle, from darting out in a parking lot, and from heading down a dangerous path.
Balance. My three-year-old is a great walker, but her knees are just a mess in the summertime from spills and scrapes on the sidewalk. If I hold her hand, I won’t keep her from tripping, but I can help catch her before she really gets hurt. Adults who walk alongside kids are there to help kids before they get into really disastrous, hurtful situations and provide some balance in their lives.
Reassurance. We all need the freedom to explore, but the reassurance of knowing we’re not alone. Kids need to have a consistent, caring adult presence. Someone safe to talk to, who will be there over the long haul. Period.
Safety. Presence. Fun. Correction. Encouragement. There are so many others. What’s more, each of us, no matter how big, strong or independent, needs to hold a hand that’s bigger than ours – the Father’s.
How can you grab a kid’s hand? How can you come alongside and give reassurance, balance, or guidance? Never underestimate the importance of a hand.
Faith Bosland
Executive Director